Archer loses immediately before he can even set terms for if he wins. He gives Lana a key to the Singh's room, claiming he strongly hinted at proof in his cabin, much to Mallory's surprise.
Out of paranoia, Cyril willingly has sex with Cheryl again, while Pam watches from the bathroom. He snaps out of it quickly and runs off to find Lana and apologize to her. Archer, in search of Cyril, runs into Kraus, who exited the cargo hold, much to Archer's suspicion.
Cyril, in Mallory's robe, runs into Archer, who sends him to find Lana in Singh's room, once again attempting to separate them while he investigates the cargo hold. Cyril is angered when he finds Lana and Singh in their underwear and runs off again, much to Lana's dismay, who runs after him. Mallory finds Pam and a passed out Cheryl in her cabin.
Pam explains the situation and how Cheryl became hysterical when Cyril left, forcing her to drown Cheryl in the tub, though not kill her. Lana gets to Mallory's cabin in search of Cyril, only to be lectured by Mallory for her actions.
Lana states she was just attempting to stop the bomb. Exasperated with the whole thing, Mallory reveals there is no bomb, and that she knows this because she made the bomb threat to spite Trudy Beakman because of her apparent bragging over getting the last ticket for the flight. Lana calls Archer to inform him of his mother's actions. He states that is "classic her" and that he would laugh at the irony since he's found a very real, very large bomb in the cargo hold.
As Lana makes her way to the cargo hold, she runs into Archer, who is running to change into his turtleneck, refusing to defuse a bomb in a suit. He tells Lana to grab the newly arrived Kraus, labeling him as the bomber. Kraus claims to know nothing about the bomb and conveys offense to the accusation due to his appearance, then revealing that he received the scar while saving a Jewish girl from a gang of skinheads.
Lana expresses her shame before asking Kraus to disarm the bomb anyway. Archer frequently gets them at inopportune times. Kreiger does, too. Archer broke it when he let the then-ODIN agent fall off a roof. The leg took two steel rods and sixteen titanium screws to mend. Then Archer dropped him off a fire escape and it had to be amputated. G — guest. The go-to computer password at ISIS headquarters. H — had something for this, I. Archer uses this phrase when he wants people to think he had a clever joke prepared for a given situation.
I — inner ear tinnitus. J — Johnny Bench-ian hands. The son of a Nazi scientist, Krieger engineered a holographic girlfriend and then another when the first one died who looks straight out of Japanese anime. If that happens, undetectable Cuban missile subs could be parked off Miami Beach.
From Top Gun! Sterling Archer: [about to throw grenade] Oh, I had something for this one Eat grenade! Doctor Krieger: [Kreiger's van screeches to a halt outside Archer's apartment] And here we are! Lana Kane: How could they, with this illegal ass window tint? Dude, this van is like, rolling probable cause. Lana Kane: How could they with this illegal-ass window tint? Dude, this van is like rolling probable cause. Sklodowska: Mission Control, this is Nereus. We are ready for miniaturization.
Pam Poovey: So why are you messing around with this crazy shrink ray? It's not like you need a million bucks. Cheryl Tunt: Wh- Are you kidding? It's not about the money. Pam, we are going on a voyage of medical discovery unparalleled in not only the history of mankind, but also, perhaps, its future. Hippocrates, Galen, Percival, Sharp. For thousands of years, physicians have dreamed of having the power to see what we've been given the chance to through this truly awe-inspiring process of miniaturization, which, I think you'll agree, is the very embodiment of Arthur C.
Clarke's Third Law, which states that "Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic," or, if you like, a miracle. Cheryl Tunt: Plus, I'm going to use the money to buy an orphanage and then bulldoze it.
Malory Archer: Do you mind? I'm trying to parent! Sterling Archer: [In a deadlock with George] Wait, wait, wait! Do you hear that? Ray Gillette: [trying an experimental drug] Oh god! It tastes worse than it smells! Malory Archer: We have had to increase the number of field agents since someone went and got himself paralyzed. Malory Archer: None of you had any field experience when you first started. And you've given Cyril some training. Sterling Archer: Well you can't give them the money, they'll just go buy a million dollars worth of crack.
Sterling Archer: [trapped in a jail with Lana surrounded by exotic animals] The tiger says Malory Archer: Oh that reminds me - Pam! At AM Friday all Isis employees are required to take a drug test.
Sterling Archer: Relax Lana, Cyril is going to be fine. Sterling Archer: Well at least one does because I just heard its' spine tingling roar.
Lana Kane: How since we're gonna die in the morning that we should both have sex with each other. Sterling Archer: Well after seeing a tiger get murdered, Lana, I'm not really in the mood. Well if you wanted to, I could watch while you masturbate, but I'm gonna tell you, my heart is not in it, my heart is with that poor tiger's family.
But go ahead, I mean, start. Sterling Archer: [Archer is lost in the jungle and has spotted a bottle of tequila] Oh goddess of the jungle, I take it all back, you have saved me from Malory Archer: [on the phone] What? Yes I heard what you said! I can't believe the head of the DEA has the balls to say it! Oh is that a fact? Oh it is! Malory Archer: Oh fine. He was just explaining to me how Isis won't be collecting the bounty on Calzado.
Malory Archer: Well done, because that's exactly the brand of unparalleled professional excellence I've come to expect at Isis. They'll never take me alive. Doctor Krieger: [following Pam with a tranquilizer gun] Oh for the love of god! Seal the exits! Cheryl Tunt: [sitting naked with Ray on his wheelchair] That's our pee, and that's the last I better hear about it, because this stupid building is a tinderbox, and I'm going to burn it to the ground.
Sterling Archer: Oh speaking of excellence, did you hear we met a tiger? Cheryl: Mopeds are fun, but you don't want your buddies to see you riding one. Malory Archer: Do you expect me to believe you're a descendant of Cornelius Tunt?
Apparently, slavery was pretty awesome. Pam: [a masked man punches Pam in the face] Who taught you how to punch? Your husband? Pam Poovey: So then he's all like, you gotta go before my roommate gets home. And I'm like, who cares? And he's like Cheryl Tunt: Mopeds are fun, but you don't want your buddies to see you riding one. Pam Poovey: No. Hence the shandy. My head feels like a bunch of monkeys fighting over a bucket of marbles. Cheryl Tunt: Yeah, me neither. I have to split it with my stupid brother, Cecil.
Sterling Archer: On the way we gotta stop at a toy store and at least get him a stuffed animal. It's like, Meowschwitz in there. Malory Archer: Cyril was insisting we try to get the kidnappers to release Pam.
Malory Archer: If it came up. And will somebody answer the damn phone for once in their life? Lana Kane: I'm serious.
I want it on record that I think this is a terrible plan. Malory Archer: Duly noted and disregarded. And I expect you to be totally convincing. Lana Kane: As the damsel in distress? Have you ever met a woman less damsel-y? Pam Poovey: Oh, please.
You're so hot for him I could reheat this chili in your cooch. Sterling Archer: Come on. Don't do that. Don't ruin your post-coital bliss with a bunch of misplaced guilt. So, what happened was, somebody ordered room service but the regular room service guy, uhh, he died, so I came in here, then I fell on the bed. Rip Riley: And then I'll shoot you, with a flare, and then I'll use a D ration bar and two survival crackers to make Smores over the crackling fire that used to be your chest cavity.
Malory Archer: He's alive somewhere, and since you fools can't find him, I called in someone who can. Say hello to Rip Riley, manhunter. Sterling Archer: I didn't run away from home. I'm a grown man, whose fiance was murdered in front of his very eyes, so excuse me for needing some time to grieve. Sterling Archer: A ruse?
Brrring, brrring. Hi, it's the 's. Can we have our words and clothes and shitty airplane back? Sterling Archer: Uhh, yeah, crazy rich. She invented the splashless urinal cake. Sterling Archer: So, I bet she'll pay whatever ransom you ask for. Splashless urinal cakes have been pretty good to us, as you can imagine.
Sterling Archer: [shouting] Woohoohoohoo! Two personal records! For breath holding and number of sharks shot in the frickin' face! Ray Gillette: And whatever my equivalent of sploosh is, which I guess is just sploosh. Only with semen. Pam Poovey: Awwww, c'mon! Clock your skinny ass out already and let's go get outside some dranks! Cyril Figgis: Do you know how hard I worked on this budget? Nights, weekends, cancelled my vacation, and, and now it's all wasted. Pam Poovey: Wasted.
Let's go be that. C'mon, happy hour at Pita Margarita's, chikka chikka chow. Pam Poovey: Only if it sounds like a shitload of tequila and some A-rab hoagies. Malory Archer: How can you even think about happy hour at a time like this? Sterling Archer: I never even heard of that position. Did the missionaries not swing by here or Sterling Archer: Noah, I'm half drunk and slathered in every bodily fluid there is, so, yeah, this is about as pirate king-y as I'm going to get.
Brief away. Noah: Pirates work for shares, and since you became a pirate king there hasn't been any booty, so Sterling Archer: With who? Noah: If the king loses to a challenger in one-on-one combat he has to step down, or just be dead. Cheryl Tunt: Uhh, this thing called "My boss made me sleep at my desk", so pajamas.
Pam Poovey: Don't talk like black people. And how should I know? I'm still ripped. Rip Riley: He's been here voluntarily, partying his ass off, as king of the pirates! Bucky: But I shoot gun many times and in all excitement I lose track myself, huh. So now you thinking, did he fire eight shots or only Rip Riley: Then kill each other, and then shut up. And then kill each other again. And call me, so I can watch you do it. Agent Lana Kane: Uhh God, when do I get to end so I can see what Cyril said?
Cheryl: No, no no no Like, a big sweaty fireman carries you out of a burning building, lays you on the sidewalk, and you think, "Yeah, okay, he's gonna give me mouth to mouth.
Cheryl: Is she freaking 'cause Cyril said he wanted to bang Danny, the intern? Cheryl: No, no no no. Malory Archer: Oh! I cannot believe you! Are you out of your big, fat Russian skull?
Of all the dumb stunts you - Nikolai, how could you do this? Sterling Archer: Whoa, you actually thought I wanted to have sex with y - [starts laughing uncontrollably]. Sterling Archer: [still cracking up] No, no, it's Woodhouse! He's all tied up somewhere, sc - Scared and alone!
Sterling Archer: Gayer. Jesus Spanish, our jobs aren't enough you gotta take our words? Sterling Archer: When I was little, I used to pretend you weren't my mother. Woodhouse: Well, I was very fond of a boy at school once. Reggie Thistleton, but he died in the war at Flanders.
Sterling Archer: You know, when I was little I Malory Archer: You'll be who it will suck to be if I have to call my Bridge-partner! Woodhouse: Sir, that stolen lemur bit one of your prostitutes right in the face. And she says she can't go to a hospital because she's, I quote, "tripping balls".
Sterling Archer: [Awkward pause] You know when I was little, I used to pretend you weren't my mother. Sterling Archer: So, uh, is that a yes or a maybe or Cheryl: The Isle of Man Oh my God Is that like Whore Island for women?
Agent Lana Kane: I am sick of you getting the best assignments just because your mother's the boss! Do you know how that feels? Sterling Archer: Uhhh, any way we can bump that to five? I, I seriously need a shower. Agent Lana Kane: Talk what out?
How you ruined my chance to work for ODIN? Or, ooooh, maybe how I just caught my boyfriend balls deep in some French chick. Sterling Archer: Yeah. He's not coming back. That chick was like, the Pel? Pam: [after setting fire to the dead bodies] Yeah, I'm kinda hungry Cyril take Sterling's gun and pump a round into his prostitute.
Malory Archer: The chairman of the UN intelligence committee. Do you not even skim the briefings in your inbox? Malory Archer: Nothing but too much enthusiasm for the opportunity to work with the UN.
Sterling Archer: Ray's gonna be a cyborg over my dead body! Or preferably his, but somebody's! Rodney: One RPG-7 launcher and two grenade as per the note from your mother. Sterling Archer: I basically just lurch from one fireable offense to the next. Sterling Archer: Jesus Christ, how many times do I have to apologize for that?
Cyril Figgis: Did he mean a Terminator of gays? Because Krieger's creepy and weird, but he's not homophobic, I don't think, so he must have meant Sterling Archer: Oh my God!
The thermostat's become sentient! That's how Maximum Overdrive started! Ron Cadillac: Oh, so you're all set. That'll hold way more Hispanics and lawn mowers. Doctor Krieger: And so a small power unit goes here on your Ray Gillette: I have to say, it kind of worries me that you don't know the names of the actual bones. Sterling Archer: [to Cyril] Your clothes. Give them to me. Hahaha, like I'd be caught dead in a sweater vest!
Doctor Krieger: I'm talking about bionics. From the Greek for, like, "Kick Ass"! I mean, it's no secret agent, but it's way above Architect. Sterling Archer: I'll probably never be able to eat again without thinking about spaghetti and meatballs! Oh god I could eat! Sterling Archer: Well not necessarily sphagetti and meatballs, but not necessarily not spaghetti and meatballs either. I mean man I really want some spaghetti and meatballs. I mean if I don't get some spaghetti and meatballs I could literally die.
Sterling Archer: [looks] Why does this chair have no seat? Malory Archer: [about Mascalzone] As we grew older, his tastes began to grow more exotic. And he began introducing these "acoutramons" very gradually. Sterling Archer: Well he'd have to, that thing is huge. Sterling Archer: Just the crime of murder, not the crime of sodomy by rubber egg plant. Pam Poovey: [about the prime minister] So is that why you dressed him up like a big giant penis?
Doctor Krieger: Shhhhhhhhhhhh Although you probably want to go wash your lips. Lana Kane: Malory's clip was empty but she claims she only fired three rounds. Sterling Archer: Whoa, wait a minute, you're saying mother lured Mascalzone up to her apartment, squeezed him into a six foot man rubber, calls us, then pulls a gun on him?
Lana Kane: Knowing they would not come back after they searched the apartment which was full of people and spotless. Sterling Archer: Oh my god! Do the math Rain Man! The wall was shot three times, and Mascalzone was shot five. For a total of - wait for it - 8. Sterling Archer: [laughs] So wait a minute? Mother shot herself? Oh my god! Which would mean that mother has been banging this guy once a week for the last 35 years and the whole time she's been holding a grudge!
Lana Kane: Who knows? It's Malory. You really want to know why she killed a guy? Malory Archer: [flashback - Malory removes her trenchcoat] Honey, you still got it! Sterling Archer: So much of this I never want to know the answer to. By the way do you want to go for a slice? Pam Poovey: What are you doing? From the left, dear. One serves from the left. Sterling Archer: Well, I should say it is, Calpernia! Mother, your maid is. Doctor Krieger: I need access to a 2 inch drain, hot water, 3 GFCI outlets, this bathroom should do nicely, and a pot of coffee just like I like my women.
Black, bitter, preferably fair trade. Oh, and your sauce needs less salt. Doctor Krieger: Put two halves of a potato in with the sauce. It will absorb the salt.
Oh, and I assume that's out patient? Lana Kane: No, I'm serious. Name one, just one single favor that Archer ever did for any of you. Cheryl Tunt: Oh! Oh my God! Which put me over my deductible so the rest of the year, all my doctor visits were totally free. Cheryl Tunt: I dunno, like a lot? I kept getting chlamydia.
Sterling Archer: No, just half of one! The other half would have really missed you. Sterling Archer: If Pam knows then everyone knows because of Pam's huge mouth. Sterling Archer: Last? Oh yeah, oh my, what happened was, um, did you see Brian's Song? Same thing pretty much. Look, I'm really sorry Carol but I couldn't Sterling Archer: No, no, no! Do not wind her up, that is a big gun and she is baby crazy.
Sterling Archer: See! Because you're baby crazy!. Learn More About mop. Time Traveler for mop The first known use of mop was in the 15th century See more words from the same century. Style: MLA. More Definitions for mop. English Language Learners Definition of mop Entry 1 of 2. Kids Definition of mop Entry 1 of 2. Kids Definition of mop Entry 2 of 2. Get Word of the Day daily email! Test Your Vocabulary. Can you spell these 10 commonly misspelled words?
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