Aim to have at least three things remaining on your list after this exercise. So, for each item remaining on your list, ask yourself:. To be called a crap writer, even? What counts is whether you continue to write. So we stay complacent. And that complacency makes us unhappy. So why not, to the best of your ability, throw your hat in the ring?
Why not give yourself the chance to feel truly happy and fulfilled? The ability to set out into the unknown—and roll with the punches when they come—is an invaluable one. By virtue of our humanity we will all fail, and those who learn to accept and embrace it will rise above it. So go against the grain. Set your own standard. Your current priorities may include work, school, children, spending time with your friends, running errands, and so on.
Did you spend five minutes when you woke up scrolling through emails? Did you spend an hour on the phone chatting with a friend? Did you spend twenty minutes swiping left and right on Bumble? By becoming more cognizant of how you spend your time, you can identify new opportunities to incorporate what you love doing. For example, I noticed I spent an extra thirty minutes daily waiting to get onto subway trains during rush hour.
I now get to work an hour earlier and leave an hour earlier to avoid rush hour, giving me an extra thirty minutes to pursue my dreams each day. Heck, maybe stay in a night or two. That could leave you feeling better and more productive the next day. Are you in a relationship that makes you feel undervalued and anxious? Spend your energy on things you love doing, people that lift you up, and situations that bring out the best in you. Because those are the things worth penciling in.
Your board can include pictures of things you love doing, quotes from people who found meaning in their lives, photos of yourself feeling happy, and anything else that helps you visualize a life you love. Seek out those who also love what you love or might love doing, and who feel they know what to do with their lives.
How did they handle that uncertainty? How did they prioritize what they love doing, and ensure they never gave up? What makes them now feel they know what to do with their lives? If you do, take advantage of it! To start the process of discovering what to do with your life, set goals that are S.
This clarifies your focus so you know exactly what you want to achieve. View the things you love remaining on your list. Measurable : Ensure you can measure your progress towards your goal. This ensures you stay on track. The goal above is measurable because you can keep track of how many hours you devote to the thing you love each week. How will you commit to ten hours per week? Take the goal above. Is ten hours per week attainable for you? If not, what do you feel you can realistically achieve, if you take your goal seriously and do all you can to prioritize it?
Relevant: Your goal has to mean something to you, for you to achieve it. Relevance is the foundation of your drive. Time-Bound: This is the scariest part of goal-setting.
It has to have a deadline. Without a deadline, we can coast indefinitely. For example, the goal above has a deadline of two months. Write your goals down, and check in with yourself regularly. Set time aside in your calendar to help you stay on track. Good habits help you achieve your goals. They help you practice consistency and put you in a good state of mind. Here are a few that may help you:. And if you misstep, forgive yourself! Instead of focusing on those who think they know the secret to life, focus on the discoveries you have yet to make.
Thing is, that map may change. Nothing is certain in life, as wonderful as that would be! Once we make peace with this, we can set ourselves free. We thus focus on doing everything we can in our lives to not feel like that. But what would happen if we shifted our focus to others for a bit?
Ironically, when we help others rather than ourselves, we often find the very purpose we were looking for. We find something bigger than ourselves to contribute to. So do what you can to help others. Talk with a friend who needs you. Volunteer at a charity.
Say good morning to a passerby on the street. Sometimes, money has something to do with it. Provide yourself with some financial flexibility so that you can achieve flexibility in other areas of your life.
Be patient, and be kind to yourself for not having everything figured out at all times. No one does. If you must know something, know this: you will do good in this world, and good by you.
You just have to give yourself a chance. Great article very inspiring! I love it! Helped me alot, gave me a chance to realize I can do and what i want in life. It is so easy to compare ourselves with others rather than see that we each have our own unique path to follow. Thanks for the article! I love your 6 questions to illuminate the way forward. It is so important to become clear about this rather than wandering aimlessly through life.
Thanks for the article. It is very thought provoking! Thank you for the kind words! Hi Sam. Great Article you have here. I just identified myself from top to bottom. Could you recommend any book related to the same issues? Thank you. Highly recommend. Hi Samantha! Good work. Makes me confident you can do the next bit of self-development work you need to do as well.
Soaking up all these introjects, you assumed you should work hard at school, should go to university, should work in a competitive industry, should rise to the top. I think your fear comes from your having in mind a sort of board game of years and milestones — of what milestone you should reach by what year. This is not a helpful game. A friend of mine co-founded a new creative industry business at 80 natthecat.
Find another game. Reading your email, I cannot be sure if it is the not-rising-to-the-top that is distressing you, or the work itself. Or whether this unhappiness is about the nature of the work itself. I wonder if you can unpick and separate the two. Every child is born like a blank slate. They behave based on their purest instincts with zero conditioning from outside influences.
Children seem to fearlessly express themselves by playing, laughing, and dancing. They show up authentically and approach life with a playful attitude; everyday situations become exciting and fun!
Deep down inside, that inner child still exists. It is your authentic self. If you listen to that inner child, you can reconnect with your truest passions that speak to your heart, that you may have suppressed long ago. Close your eyes. Try to think back to yourself as a child. Ask yourself:. Where do you stand in your life right now? You may actually have a lot of things going right, or maybe you recognize those things glaring you in the face that need to change.
Be honest with yourself. Write down a list of all the things that bring you joy and satisfaction. Then make a separate list of the areas of your life that you need to change. Consider the following:. Take a moment to write down a few names of people you admire. Perhaps they are people you know personally.
Maybe you can think of a celebrity or public figure that inspires you. List a few characteristics or achievements that you admire about each individual. Living a good life means more than just having your essential needs met. Deep down, we all want to feel inspired.
That can mean in the work we do, the people we help, the hobbies we pursue. You may have a ton of ideas, or none at all. When you want to know how to find your passion in life , make a list and think about:. According to science, feeling happy has a lot to do with helping others. Professor of psychology, Dr. Laurie Santos, PhD.
They often participate in service-oriented activities, like giving to charity and volunteering. Consider some ways you can participate in a cause greater than yourself. Look for something that resonates with you personally. Whether that means supporting your community, adopting an animal, conserving the environment. These activities can bring you more purpose through serving others. You may already have an idea, deep down inside, of your calling.
Did you have a passion that fell to the wayside because of other responsibilities? You may need to reconnect with that part of yourself in order to feel whole again. Everyone needs to find a way to bring home the bacon. But life is too short to be stuck in a job that you hate. You can find meaning and enjoyment in the work that you do. But it may mean taking risks and asking the right questions to move forward.
You build a meaningful life based on your consistent, day-to-day habits. Consider the big dreams that you have in your heart.
Now, think about what kind of daily habits will lead you to that goal. They can even mean small things, like writing 20 minutes a day, practicing guitar, or going for a walk. Those seemingly small things can lead to big changes over time. Take some time to brainstorm those heart dreams and write them down.
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